Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Miss Havisham

vogue italia


Whilst perusing The Selby today, I was amused to discover that Julia Restoin Roitfeld has been posing for the camera the same way for at least the past twenty years. Hey, if it works, use it.

And damn can that woman make you want some sick animal-inspired jewelry.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

All Superheros are Powerful in Their Own Way

Reading Daisy's superhero post reminded me of all the images I had gathered for my own superhero fantasy. Unsurprisingly, my superhero is a far cry from the candy-coated, pastel-powered superhero of Daisy's dreams. Mine rips white bread to shreds in a carb-driven anger, while making sure to take her vitamins and eat lots of protein for when she finds herself hanging from her ponytail by the act of some dastardly villain. Her uniform, a simple black bandage monokini, allows for optimal movement and hotness. And she and only she can make an iPod Mini armband or a silver boxing helmet look like the sexiest thing this side of stilettos. Because kicking bad guy ass in stilettos? Sooo not practical.

When I Remember My Calling I'm No Longer Afraid of Life

This video taught me so many things. Let's get the obvious, catty one out of the way first and then move on to respect, shall we?

1. If I had clear skin and were not only a size zero but also incredibly laconic, I could get paid to do this. (Those first two items are on my wishlist for a successful acting career, too, making number 1 just a twinge more bitter. C'mon, acne meds, work already!)

2. Love scenes onstage are awkward. Love scenes on film are even more awkward. (Factors include less rehearsal time and the occasionally moronic scheduling which can make your love scene with your co-star your first scene with your co-star.) But in this video, it looks like love scenes in modeling take the cake. Very little direction, no background, just "maul him and make it look good!" To be fair, I realize the modeling world is as small as or smaller than the entertainment world, and you are likely to know your co-star, but jeez. Awkward. (And thus serious props to models for rocking it.)

3. Look at her toss those thousand-dollar jackets around like so much confetti! That takes way more balls than mauling a strange man. I think I might turn from sexpot to country mouse in 0.5 seconds with that direction. "Throw it? Like...just throw it? Really? On the ground?" And then I never work again.

In the course of this post, my skin cleared up, I lost 50 pounds, had a short modeling career in which I mauled strange men until I became friends with them all, and promptly got fired for not being careless with designer duds. Also in real life my boyfriend's cat drank out of my coffee mug. Having a blog is exhausting.