Friday, November 20, 2009

It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times...

I guess since I keep making my time at the Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire an excuse for not posting ever, I should put some pictures of my costume up...I did love it so. And I miss it...but I certainly prefer being inside now that it's so cold out! Fighting in the freezing rain is so not fun. Here's to 1569...

Michael Ulrich
Jumping a fence to fight for my Queen...this cobbler has moxie! Of course, I died two moves into the fight, but c'mon...I was a cobbler! My battle cry was "shoon"! Not much of a conviction...depending how much faith you put in the power of shoes, which, now I come to think of it, is a lot for me...

Kelley Brower
These are my "wet clothes," here seen being put to good use as I am very wet...I had a separate costume for one of my shows so I could get dunked if the crowd so chose and not have to walk around soaking wet for the rest of the day. My second day of Faire, they so chose...

Michael Ulrich
Halloween weekend brought the macabre delights of "peasant shoot," wherein the nobles got to take aim at us peasants as we performed such innocent feats as a three-legged race. Here I am getting offed by the Duchess of Sussex. Huz...zah?

Ben Myers
Probably taunting another character as a crowd warmer at my dunk show. My fingers are taped because I completely destroyed myself during a stunt gone wrong earlier in the day. Not pictured: scraped up elbow, badly bruised knees, strained neck, possible concussion. But the show went on...and they dunked me in the 40 degree weather. I threatened to become a lawyer. (Also, that bracelet was made for me by one of the knights and I decided it was period enough to keep it on...still haven't taken it off. Awww...)

Debbie Brown
Saying goodbye to Sir Paul, one of our youngest fans, on the last night of the year. Sad day! Constance (my character) looks mighty cozy but is totally freezing in this picture.

Goodbye, 1569, helllllllo McDonagh. Pillowman costume pictures will of course be forthcoming at the earliest possible convenience. And in the meantime I'll get back to fashion as we know it...

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


Kiersten Essenpreis + Marc by Marc Jacobs

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

My Favorites Today

I realize these are not necessarily from today, but as I have been lost somewhere in the wilds of England circa 1569, this is a really exciting update! I may even try to make more! For now these outfits make me swoon. I think Daisy will be pleasantly surprised by the first one.


Monique Lhuillier

Monday, September 21, 2009

J. Crew Dream Boys + Our Precious J.Crew Spawn

Though J. Crew boys are usually dreamy, this particular book has me swooning more often than usual. I heart the artists-as-models shtick, which includes Ryan McGinness, whom I already have great love for. So many deliciously happy colors!

Also, if my fella would kindly add the first outfit to his J.Crew online cart, I would be oh so appreciative! It will make me want to have naughty times, which will one day lead to a precious J.Crew spawn:

Arrrrrg! So cute that it makes me want to procreate!

Dear J. Crew, Please Stop Being So Wonderful

I took it upon myself to edit the latest J. Crew catalog to reflect only what I wanted. Despite the fact that I already own versions of most of my desires, J. Crew has managed to make me covet these redundancies.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Though costuming theatre taught me that the close up details do not matter, I refused to abandon my love of tiny patterns and textures. I may be the only one who knows they were there, but oh well! Next time I will simply have to make everything even louder and more obnoxious.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Craft Night: Painted Boots Edition

I recently costumed a production of Rent, and it was hilarious. One of my favorite projects was painting boots. They probably will not last, but my love for them is eternal!!!

Monday, July 20, 2009

Fiffer Feffer Minnie Dot

When I saw photos of the Yayoi Kusama trees in London, I instantly felt a rush of Suessian splendor, with a dash of Minnie Mouse magnificence. I think Fall 09 DKNY, Matthew Williamson, and Marc by Marc would all love to frolic along the Thames with Minnie Mouse ears and feathers in their hair.

Justice of the Peace

If I ever get to pay a visit to the Justice of the Peace, I wish to be outfitted in the likeness of Miss Audrey. I am especially fond of the hood in lieu of a veil! It would also be delightful to own this shift in every color of the rainbow.

Ugly Marc

I can't decide if this is the ugliest bag I have ever seen, or if I really want it. Only Marc could ever present me with this quandary.

Friday, June 19, 2009


I know I am approximately one month too late for a prom post, but since I am six years past prom attendance, I think it is still acceptable. I never attended a classic post-prom Jersey Shore soiree, but if I were seventeen again, Michael Cera would be driving me and my yellow ruffles (which take up the whole back seat) to Ocean City for a weekend of pin-up bikinis, and frolics down the boardwalk with Jordan's furry friend Eddie, the only acceptable dog I know.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Mount Olympus

Ironically, it is my recent move from the Mediterranean climate of Los Angeles to the swampy humidity of Philadelphia that has me looking to the Mediterranean for my summer fashion inspiration. Sticky spring days promise even stickier summers, so while I'm not wearing the clothes of a sixteenth-century cobbler (the life of an actor = never boring), I'll be lounging in a twenty-first century take on the clothes of a third-century (BCE) housewife. Flowy dresses that drape and allow not only for the consumption of a funnel cake or five, but also for the relief of a summer breeze are my desire for the sweltering east coast summer. White is of course ideal, reflecting all those summer rays away from my poor vulnerable skin, but I fear it will not end there. Before I know it, a pandora's box of togalicious togs will burst forth into my closet, while my fellow cut-off and tank top clad actors scratch their heads in perplexity. Summer, try your worst. I'm ready for you.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Miss Havisham

vogue italia


Whilst perusing The Selby today, I was amused to discover that Julia Restoin Roitfeld has been posing for the camera the same way for at least the past twenty years. Hey, if it works, use it.

And damn can that woman make you want some sick animal-inspired jewelry.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

All Superheros are Powerful in Their Own Way

Reading Daisy's superhero post reminded me of all the images I had gathered for my own superhero fantasy. Unsurprisingly, my superhero is a far cry from the candy-coated, pastel-powered superhero of Daisy's dreams. Mine rips white bread to shreds in a carb-driven anger, while making sure to take her vitamins and eat lots of protein for when she finds herself hanging from her ponytail by the act of some dastardly villain. Her uniform, a simple black bandage monokini, allows for optimal movement and hotness. And she and only she can make an iPod Mini armband or a silver boxing helmet look like the sexiest thing this side of stilettos. Because kicking bad guy ass in stilettos? Sooo not practical.

When I Remember My Calling I'm No Longer Afraid of Life

This video taught me so many things. Let's get the obvious, catty one out of the way first and then move on to respect, shall we?

1. If I had clear skin and were not only a size zero but also incredibly laconic, I could get paid to do this. (Those first two items are on my wishlist for a successful acting career, too, making number 1 just a twinge more bitter. C'mon, acne meds, work already!)

2. Love scenes onstage are awkward. Love scenes on film are even more awkward. (Factors include less rehearsal time and the occasionally moronic scheduling which can make your love scene with your co-star your first scene with your co-star.) But in this video, it looks like love scenes in modeling take the cake. Very little direction, no background, just "maul him and make it look good!" To be fair, I realize the modeling world is as small as or smaller than the entertainment world, and you are likely to know your co-star, but jeez. Awkward. (And thus serious props to models for rocking it.)

3. Look at her toss those thousand-dollar jackets around like so much confetti! That takes way more balls than mauling a strange man. I think I might turn from sexpot to country mouse in 0.5 seconds with that direction. "Throw it? Like...just throw it? Really? On the ground?" And then I never work again.

In the course of this post, my skin cleared up, I lost 50 pounds, had a short modeling career in which I mauled strange men until I became friends with them all, and promptly got fired for not being careless with designer duds. Also in real life my boyfriend's cat drank out of my coffee mug. Having a blog is exhausting.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

That Corpse You Planted...Has it Begun to Sprout?

I am only too aware that it is late for an Easter post, but things have been busy busy, and after all, April is the cruelest month... My mermaids deserve a personal style post, however, for their tastes are so laughably divergent that I felt it only right to share with the world.

Daisy looks as though she is off to the Protestant Church on Fifth Avenue in 1958...And Jordan appears to still be clad in her Easter Saturday finery for a romp around the gayborhood (which, I am told, is exactly the case).

How do two such different girls spend their Easter Sundays? Daisy finds a quiet corner to escape the crazy relatives and get in a little shut-eye...
While Jordan celebrates the most famous zombie story of them all by killing the computer-animated version with her loved ones.
Ah, Easter. Spring has sprung. One can be sure the mermaids will be out to play more often now...

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


Perhaps it is a combination between GoGo (Kill Bill Vol. 1) and the Powerpuff Girls influencing me, but these images give me the impression of a superhero persona. I suppose I should have noticed the parallel between my love of superheroes and costumey theme dressing earlier! I do find that a well executed, highly stylized ensemble can create a powerful confidence despite the ridiculous appearance.

I hope that when my own hero quest has me stuck in the belly of the whale, I will be fueled by gummies, wearing a lot of tulle, and calling on the assistance of Hello Kitty and Gwen's Harajuku cult.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Desperately Seeking Susan - Time for You and Time for Me

Would it have been worth it after all, after the chinese food, the cheese curls, the wine, among the netflix sleeves, the talk of you and me, would it have been worthwhile to say: "I am Lazarus, come back to tell you all, it is a blessing you never saw this film when you were seventeen."

No! I am no Carine Roitfeld, nor was meant to be; am an observer, one that will do to swell your ego, censure an outfit or two, advise the girls, no doubt an easy tool; at times, indeed ridiculous - almost, at times, the Fool.

And yet, amongst last night's debaucheries, I could not but offer up a prayer of thanks that my fair companions had not witnessed the excess of eighties bohemia in their younger, more impressionable years. For if I cringe now to think of the state in which my mermaids trotted off to school to talk of Michelangelo, how much more would I now shudder had their creations included cropped-lace button-downs or gartered boxer shorts?

Yet I do not doubt this would have been the case. Not a scene flitted by our eyes when my mermaids did not cry: "I own that purse!" or "That sweater is just like yours!" I saw as plain as day the ticker tape running behind their eyes, shopping lists forming in the swirls of their irises: studded boots and military jackets and maybe a new pair to replace their ratty old lace gloves. I know for certain that Jordan is already on the hunt for an oversized hat box for weekend jaunts, and Daisy can't wait to pair her lace ruffled bustier prom dress with anything studded.

It is to be regretted, certainly, but how much worse would the damage have been if the time had not been right. Even so, Jordan left for work this morning with orange-red lips floating above her layered chain necklaces, studded belt, lace fingerless glove, and turned-down boots. Need I buy up all the sequined sheathes on e-Bay? It might, in fact, be a necessary precaution. And indeed there will be time to wonder "Do I dare?" and "Do I dare?"

Monday, April 6, 2009

Tea Party

Dearest Jordan,

I too perused Pixie Market's website today! I often think about our visit to their L.A. location. While I did take note that Lily Kitty was delightful and very well priced, I ended up bookmarking this skirt instead.
It is begging for my grandmother's sheer secretary top with bows trailing down the front, and pale pink, perforated, patent leather peep toe heels! There will be far too many p's and approximately ten bows involved in this ensemble. It will be nauseatingly wonderful.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Hell's Angel

I must wear this dress with a black motorcycle jacket and my high-heeled black ankle boots. Pounds of necklaces are advisable, too. Badass cherubs indeed, indeed!
(lily kitty from pixie market)

The Top Secret Files of Mr. M. Night Shyamalan

I had my fitting for The Last Airbender yesterday, but my confidentiality agreement legally binds me from dishing about my costume(!!!). However, I do not believe value judgements count, so let me oh-so-cautiously venture to say: best costume I have EVER worn! And I have worked Mad Men, so you know this costume's gotta be good. Bea-u-ti-ful. Happy sigh.

Friday, April 3, 2009

No Place Like London - Except New York

Fred R. Conrad/The New York Times

Years ago I spent five lonely, weepy, sleepless, amazing months in the great black pit that is London. I spent way too much on rent, searched in vain for low-fat cheese, haunted the theatres of the West End with a desperate need to find something positive about the dreary British capital, and escaped to Paris whenever it all got too gloomy.

With all my sterling being chucked into the bottomless pockets of the greasy estate agents who leased my apartment, Paris began to look much too dauntingly expensive for my increasingly frequent need to escape. Soon crossing the channel transformed into crossing Edgware Road as I began to flee to Selfridges and blow thirty quid on YSL eyeshadow, coffee, and chocolate chip scones. Eventually even that got too expensive, and no longer could I ignore the siren song of that fabled shopping phenomenon, High Street - of which Topshop is queen.

I have long since escaped to the States to explore our own brand of depressing metropolis, but that wily huntress Topshop has finally tracked me down. I hear its call. I fear it won't be long before Daisy and I are drawn to our doom like moths to a flame. With our powers of rationalization, we can't resist for long. O Topshop, sing of my empty wallet and voluminous orange gingham sundress. Sing of the downfall of careful budgeting and rational purchases! Sing, sing of the triumph of fashion over reason, as the galley of my finances sinks into the wine-dark sea...